And then there were happiness…

So, school started a week ago, and now I’m drowning in books, just like it should be… Well, actually the course isn’t all that demanding, but I quickly realised that I will never get better at French if I settle with such a low amount of work. I’m a good student… ;)
But it ain’t all work and no play, because that makes Karin a dull girl.

The local is in the Marais, Paris’ Jewish quarter, and so I walk there from home four days a week, and tomorrow I begin my phonetics class after lunch. Also there are some lectures on French history, art, cinema, music…
Anyways, I walk north on Boulevard St-Michel (where I live), I cross the seine and walk onto Ile de la Cité, I pass by Notre Dame, the gorgeous church. I take a left and walk north, passing by the Hotel de Ville. Sometimes I stop at a café on the way for a cup of coffee and a cigarette, hanging in the bar with the “real” French. Coffee and cigarettes with the occasional Pain au chocolat, could it be better??!!!

It’s sort of a dream come true, staying here, living here, being here. I’ve planned this for so long, and sometimes it felt like the day would never come, but hah, here I am. All my fears, that I wouldn’t make any friends, that I wouldn’t be able to communicate at all, they have amounted to nothing. Everything isn’t perfect, but like 98% is, the only thing that’s really less than lovable are the Parisians, but I guess they have their charm too.
This is my first time living abroad, but I don’t think it’ll be the last. Never have I seen myself as the kind of person who’s happy merely existing, in the everyday routine, never moving around.

I’m happy.
I’m content.
I never wanna return to Sweden.

I understand why celebrities like Johnny Depp (I haven’t seen him, no *sniff*), Sean Penn etc. (btw, those two, Malkovic and the dude from Simply Red owns a nightclub here), buy houses here. The French seem quite in love with their privacy. Alright that the men stare at women, but in general famous people seem to be left alone. Well, who gives a crap about celebrities anyway?  (ahem, shush). Eventho’ I’ve obviously been guilty of the same thing I do find the obsession weird, and I know how annoying it can be, I hated it when people would come up to my ex when we were having dinner or something. It’s like “leave us the fuck alone, we’re trying to eat here!”, but he was way too polite with all the semi-acquaintances, me would’ve told them to bog off.

Talking about that, he’s coming here on Thursday. We’re meeting up on Friday for lunch at Jules Verne, the restaurant in the Eiffel Tower (wheeeheee, and I hate heights…). Never eaten in a two-star restaurant so that’ll be nice. He will be nice, he always is… *sigh*. See, being away haven’t changed my feelings for him. And yes, I did try “the best way to get over someone is to get someone new over you”, but that didn’t work either. Ah well, it could be worse.
But please wish me luck. No drooling, no drooling, no drooooling. And no “ooooh I loooooove you”. None of that. I must be civilized…

Life is good. So unbelievable good that I’m starting to feel like something is wrong… But there is nothing wrong.

I deserve feeling happy.
I deserve this.

To hell with those who want me to come back, who wonder all the time if I miss them, who seem to want me to be miserable. Just… bog off.
This is my time.